One Step Closer
by imsuchanut
Summary: His mind is spinning. But how is that his fault? So much, too much has happened over the past few days. Scott's gone, his dad's gone, and god damn it everyone and everything are screwed up. Stiles' thoughts during 3x11, 'Alpha Pact'.


**A/N: The latest episode was a lot. Like seriously, where are they going with this? I really hope they don't kill off Cora.**

His mind is spinning.

But how is that his fault? So much, _too much_ has happened over the past few days. Scott's gone, his dad's gone, and god damn it everyone and everything are screwed up.

And then Lydia waltzes into his life yet again. Despite the attempted assassination just a few days ago, she's back on her feet again. Smiling and peppy, not quite realizing the gravity of the situation. That was something he always liked about her. But now, it's just getting on his nerves.

Doesn't she get that everyone around him is _dying_?

Cora was right; they really just do find the bodies. And that was another problem in itself. Cora, the Big Bad Wolf's baby sister, was dying. And no one seemed to be able to save her. Despite all of Derek's hoping and wishing, mourning at her sickbed wasn't helping anyone. And Stiles was pretty sure that if she were conscious, she'd kick her brother's ass for not being useful to the pack.

Stiles understood what he was going through.

Really, he did. Because wasn't he going through something similar? That's right, he was. And he was only a teenager; who had responsibilities outside the supernatural. Namely; being a kid. But school was also kinda important, given that he was legally required to go to it. Derek's life _revolved_ around this shit. Yet here Stiles was, basically being the glue that kept this dysfunctional family together and moving.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He's only a _kid_, for fucks sake! Why the hell should he have to go through all this? And he didn't even have any powers. How was he supposed to protect himself when the Alphas or the Darach or whatever freaky shit was after him now that all his bodyguards were gone? He was completely alone in this labyrinth of suffering.

It was all too much, everything flooding and overflowing and suddenly he finds himself having a panic attack in the school hallway. Is this what it had come to? Having a freaking panic attack and no one is here for him. He's all alone. It was always one of his biggest fears, but now the day has finally come. Scott's gone, his parents are gone, and Stiles is left for dead. It's only a matter of time.

He vaguely hears a female voice and for a moment his thoughts flash to her. But then he remembers that she's too busy puking up mistletoe to take care of him, and his moment of clarity fades. Just taking a breath is a struggle, and before he knows it he's being sat down in the locker room, Lydia's face shifted into his vision.

Only, her face is getting closer. Too close and moving in faster, and then he feels the sensation of something on his lips. He finally realizes what's going on, and part of him is overjoyed at fulfilling his childhood dream. Finally kissing her didn't feel as good as he'd hoped, though. It just felt a bit like a normal kiss. Even so, he finally did something he'd thought he'd always wanted to do, and he begins to lean in again. But she pulls away, looking extremely awkward. Not the kind of "I just kissed my crush awkward", because no way in hell would Lydia ever feel awkward about that, but the kind that says "I honestly can't believe I just had to do that". Because really, she was just saving his life.

He tries to rationalize that in his brain, but his mind won't stop nagging. _She never liked you in that way, she never will. She's saving your life. She will never feel that way, and she never has._ He was feeling hurt that he wasted all those years on her. Really, how long has he been crushing on her? Since the third grade. But the sting of rejection wasn't as harsh, because he couldn't help imagining the feel of lips again. Only, they weren't Lydia's.

Before he knows it they're out of the locker room, searching for missing people, and then he's being questioned by the FBI. Really, it's all in a day's work. The day may be over though; but the night's just begun. What a night it's going to be, if only he can get through the darkness.

Figuratively and metaphorically.

Because there's no freaking way to find the root cellar, and the only thing to die is to die. He has to freaking _drown_.

He wants to protest, but is there really any other way? He _has_ to save his dad. His dad is one of the few things he has left. But dying? What if Deacon's not really helping them? What if there's no way to get back?

There's so much to be done, so much he never got the chance to do. So much he might never do. Because really, how does a teenager prepare to die at the hands of their friends? There's not exactly any correct way to prepare for the experience.

Stiles steps into the ice water, and his nerves immediately light on fire. Every inch of his body is screaming, crying for help. But he sinks under, and soon the world begins to fade to black.

It's true; what they say about your life flashing before your eyes. He sees moments with his parents, years with Scott, and the danger has been following them recently. But then he feels Lydia's hands on his head, and it makes him think.

Deacon was wrong. There was someone, much _much_ better who should be doing this. What if Lydia's not strong enough for him to come back to? Because he's thought's flood to Cora, and strange as it is, he thinks he'd much rather die at her hands.

The sick, strong, beautiful girl leaks into his thoughts as he becomes one step closer to his mother.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review, that'd be totally awesome. I'd love to hear what you think!**


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